She reveals the heartache and fear that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner. Even as she rose to fame as a cast member of the hit television shows Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, all the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids. When this wasn't enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. On the outside she was thin and blond, glamorous and successful. This should have been the culmination of all her years of hard work-first as a child model in Australia, then as a cast member of one of the hottest shows on American television. ' Portia de Rossi weighed only 82 pounds when she collapsed on the set of the Hollywood film in which she was playing her first leading role.

Being as thin as possible was a way to make the job of being an actress easier. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude.

Portia de rossi autobiography